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Martin's Review of An Overrated Piece of Shit-er-War Horse
Loljk, it is NOT an overrated piece of shit, just so you know before you may rage. It's just a nice thread title 
And this isn't really a review, just highlighting over some points.
War Horse is not a bad movie but it is not a GREAT movie.
The Good
Production values were good. The visuals were a nice treat with the landscapes, the war, etcetc. All of it had a sort of a gritty look once we escaped the opening segments, and even the opening segments had a certain sadness and grittyness to them.
It was entertaining. I enjoyed watching Joey, aka the "War Horse" progress through the different people and situations, through farms and war and back to where it all started. The emotions run through were pretty good.
The Bad
The duck and the ginger friend. Both annoyed the hell out of me, loll, unnecessary comedy fillers.
I wouldn't be able to judge Williams' score from the film because I only heard it a few times. Pretty disappointing when you have it nominated for awards, I'd expect to hear it and for it to give me orgasms, but I rarely noticed it other than the opening.
The main relationship seemed forced from the start. It was thrown onto us right away that there was this big connection between them and it felt, well, forced, loll.
Some characters I didn't really care about. We could've skipped the German boys because 1. the movie was already too long to give light to more characters and 2. because of number 1, what we got was very minuscule, something they could've made more out of.
The very, VERY, unrealistic feel of it. The ending as well did have me smiling a bit, but also rolling my eyes at other times. I was actually very disappointed that *spoiler careful bitches* the horse and girl didnt get to see each other again, because it brought a smile to my face to see her so happy with Joey, so her grandfather giving it back, though the right thing to do by him, made me sad to think she wouldn't see Joey more than it made happy to see Joey go home. *end spoiler*
In the end, War Horse is entertaining and fun, but it is by no means a masterpiece on par with other Spielberg works. Not even close. Of course I'm looking at it standing alone, and it's a nice family film, it just didn't have enough. What didn't have enough of? Just a little bit missing here and there for a lot of things basically. It's still entertaining and I'm glad I saw it.
I know it seems like I've posted a lot more bad than good, but I don't mean all those are VERY bad. I just mean they weren't what they could have been. Everything could've been boosted a bit: the characters, the emotions, blahblah etcetc. It just fell short of great and instead is just "good"
Final rating: 6 or 6.5/10
And this isn't really a review, just highlighting over some points.
War Horse is not a bad movie but it is not a GREAT movie.
The Good
Production values were good. The visuals were a nice treat with the landscapes, the war, etcetc. All of it had a sort of a gritty look once we escaped the opening segments, and even the opening segments had a certain sadness and grittyness to them.
It was entertaining. I enjoyed watching Joey, aka the "War Horse" progress through the different people and situations, through farms and war and back to where it all started. The emotions run through were pretty good.
The Bad
The duck and the ginger friend. Both annoyed the hell out of me, loll, unnecessary comedy fillers.
I wouldn't be able to judge Williams' score from the film because I only heard it a few times. Pretty disappointing when you have it nominated for awards, I'd expect to hear it and for it to give me orgasms, but I rarely noticed it other than the opening.
The main relationship seemed forced from the start. It was thrown onto us right away that there was this big connection between them and it felt, well, forced, loll.
Some characters I didn't really care about. We could've skipped the German boys because 1. the movie was already too long to give light to more characters and 2. because of number 1, what we got was very minuscule, something they could've made more out of.
The very, VERY, unrealistic feel of it. The ending as well did have me smiling a bit, but also rolling my eyes at other times. I was actually very disappointed that *spoiler careful bitches* the horse and girl didnt get to see each other again, because it brought a smile to my face to see her so happy with Joey, so her grandfather giving it back, though the right thing to do by him, made me sad to think she wouldn't see Joey more than it made happy to see Joey go home. *end spoiler*
In the end, War Horse is entertaining and fun, but it is by no means a masterpiece on par with other Spielberg works. Not even close. Of course I'm looking at it standing alone, and it's a nice family film, it just didn't have enough. What didn't have enough of? Just a little bit missing here and there for a lot of things basically. It's still entertaining and I'm glad I saw it.
I know it seems like I've posted a lot more bad than good, but I don't mean all those are VERY bad. I just mean they weren't what they could have been. Everything could've been boosted a bit: the characters, the emotions, blahblah etcetc. It just fell short of great and instead is just "good"
Final rating: 6 or 6.5/10
Comments
Mysterious thing time.
This has absolutely NOTHING to do with Harry Potter. I graded War Horse based on War Horse and War Horse alone. Get that through your head or stfu.
Morse has been saying a lot of these comments lately so I didn't think he was kidding and it sure doesn't sound like it.
Mysterious thing time.
I thought the similar, recurring comments made it evident.
Mysterious thing time.
Mysterious thing time.
Also, the granddaughter died from her illness. The grandfather was only trying to buy Joey to keep her memory alive, but he realized that it would be wrong to not let Joey remain with his rightful owner. He realizes that it was what she would have wanted herself.
And aww, that makes me sad, I must have missed that at the end. Well that sucks. It makes more sense, lolll, but it sucks
Far from being a great movie (way too long and overscored), it's still good and Spielberg made a wonderful job.
10 - Amazing. Please fuck me again
9 - Must buy on Blu ray NOW
8 - Veeery nice
7 - quality worth the ticket
6 - good, but not the level it could be
5 - lacking but not awful
4 - bad, but there's worse
3 - bad. Just regular bad
2 - awful
1 - RAGEEEE DAFUQ IS THIS SHIT?!?
10 - Amazing. Please fuck me again
9 - Must buy on Blu ray NOW
8 - Veeery nice
7 - quality worth the ticket
6 - good, but not the level it could be
5 - lacking but not awful
4 - bad, but there's worse
3 - bad. Just regular bad
2 - awful
1 - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Lord Stafford.
Lord Stafford.
Lord Stafford.
Lord Stafford.
We were in the middle of a very serious battle and we cut to the finger kid still in the trench trembling and it was humor filled and definitely not needed.
In fact, if i was there in those conditions, i would be doing the exact same thing. Spielberg isn't dumb, and nor is he Steve Kloves. Feeling the need to add pathetic pieces of comedy.
Lord Stafford.
Come back to me when you have something else to complain about, sure. But don't do so if the next thing you come up with, is about how that 'ginger' died a terrible death after being gassed along with many other comrades. There is a difference between what seems right in a script to what will actually work on the big screen. Spielberg knew that, Kloves didn't.
P.S 13,000TH COMMENT!!
Lord Stafford.
I didn't see the Voldemort Draco hug as comedic. You might have.
I found that scene in War Horse comedic. You didnt.
There's this wonderful fucking thing called an opinion. O-p-i-n-i-o-n. got that? Good.
Lord Stafford.
James telling me my opinion isn't an opinion. Damn. What else is new?