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Martin's Review of An Overrated Piece of Shit-er-War Horse

Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited January 2012 in General
Loljk, it is NOT an overrated piece of shit, just so you know before you may rage. It's just a nice thread title :)

And this isn't really a review, just highlighting over some points.

War Horse is not a bad movie but it is not a GREAT movie.

The Good

Production values were good. The visuals were a nice treat with the landscapes, the war, etcetc. All of it had a sort of a gritty look once we escaped the opening segments, and even the opening segments had a certain sadness and grittyness to them.

It was entertaining. I enjoyed watching Joey, aka the "War Horse" progress through the different people and situations, through farms and war and back to where it all started. The emotions run through were pretty good.


The Bad

The duck and the ginger friend. Both annoyed the hell out of me, loll, unnecessary comedy fillers.

I wouldn't be able to judge Williams' score from the film because I only heard it a few times. Pretty disappointing when you have it nominated for awards, I'd expect to hear it and for it to give me orgasms, but I rarely noticed it other than the opening.

The main relationship seemed forced from the start. It was thrown onto us right away that there was this big connection between them and it felt, well, forced, loll.

Some characters I didn't really care about. We could've skipped the German boys because 1. the movie was already too long to give light to more characters and 2. because of number 1, what we got was very minuscule, something they could've made more out of.

The very, VERY, unrealistic feel of it. The ending as well did have me smiling a bit, but also rolling my eyes at other times. I was actually very disappointed that *spoiler careful bitches* the horse and girl didnt get to see each other again, because it brought a smile to my face to see her so happy with Joey, so her grandfather giving it back, though the right thing to do by him, made me sad to think she wouldn't see Joey more than it made happy to see Joey go home. *end spoiler*


In the end, War Horse is entertaining and fun, but it is by no means a masterpiece on par with other Spielberg works. Not even close. Of course I'm looking at it standing alone, and it's a nice family film, it just didn't have enough. What didn't have enough of? Just a little bit missing here and there for a lot of things basically. It's still entertaining and I'm glad I saw it.

I know it seems like I've posted a lot more bad than good, but I don't mean all those are VERY bad. I just mean they weren't what they could have been. Everything could've been boosted a bit: the characters, the emotions, blahblah etcetc. It just fell short of great and instead is just "good"

Final rating: 6 or 6.5/10

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Comments

  • yonythemoonyyonythemoony Posts: 5,638 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The movie had mixed reviews só I don't get how can be overrated.
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The movie had mixed reviews só I don't get how can be overrated.
    I was being sarcastic, but it's getting nominated for many, many awards and has generally favorable reviews on most sites, so it could be considered overrated. I don't think it is, but I'm just saying it could be.
  • XDMorsmordreXDXDMorsmordreXD Posts: 6,730 ✭✭✭✭✭
    image
    Right? Just because Potter is an award debacle.
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    Mysterious thing time.
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    image
    Right? Just because Potter is an award debacle.
    Did you even fucking read what I wrote morse? Oh, no, you must have just saw the title and posted how I only hate movies because Potter doesn't get awards.

    This has absolutely NOTHING to do with Harry Potter. I graded War Horse based on War Horse and War Horse alone. Get that through your head or stfu.
  • Marty I was just kidding bud LMAO Sorry <3
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Marty I was just kidding bud LMAO Sorry <3</p>
    Rick, I know you were bud :p

    Morse has been saying a lot of these comments lately so I didn't think he was kidding and it sure doesn't sound like it.
  • XDMorsmordreXDXDMorsmordreXD Posts: 6,730 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Marty I was just kidding bud LMAO Sorry <3</p>
    Rick, I know you were bud :p

    Morse has been saying a lot of these comments lately so I didn't think he was kidding and it sure doesn't sound like it.
    Oops.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Mysterious thing time.
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Marty I was just kidding bud LMAO Sorry <3</p>
    Rick, I know you were bud :p

    Morse has been saying a lot of these comments lately so I didn't think he was kidding and it sure doesn't sound like it.
    Oops.
    If you're being sarcastic, make it more evident. Because lately you have said negative comments my way, so I didn't see a reason to take you sarcastically.
  • XDMorsmordreXDXDMorsmordreXD Posts: 6,730 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Marty I was just kidding bud LMAO Sorry <3</p>
    Rick, I know you were bud :p

    Morse has been saying a lot of these comments lately so I didn't think he was kidding and it sure doesn't sound like it.
    Oops.
    If you're being sarcastic, make it more evident. Because lately you have said negative comments my way, so I didn't see a reason to take you sarcastically.
    I'm being sarcastic :P
    I thought the similar, recurring comments made it evident.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Mysterious thing time.
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Marty I was just kidding bud LMAO Sorry <3</p>
    Rick, I know you were bud :p

    Morse has been saying a lot of these comments lately so I didn't think he was kidding and it sure doesn't sound like it.
    Oops.
    If you're being sarcastic, make it more evident. Because lately you have said negative comments my way, so I didn't see a reason to take you sarcastically.
    I'm being sarcastic :P
    I thought the similar, recurring comments made it evident.
    Okay, then I'm sorry for blowing up on you.
  • XDMorsmordreXDXDMorsmordreXD Posts: 6,730 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Marty I was just kidding bud LMAO Sorry <3</p>
    Rick, I know you were bud :p

    Morse has been saying a lot of these comments lately so I didn't think he was kidding and it sure doesn't sound like it.
    Oops.
    If you're being sarcastic, make it more evident. Because lately you have said negative comments my way, so I didn't see a reason to take you sarcastically.
    I'm being sarcastic :P
    I thought the similar, recurring comments made it evident.
    Okay, then I'm sorry for blowing up on you.
    It's ok, I'm taking it too far.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Mysterious thing time.
  • SwedishSkinJerSwedishSkinJer Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭
    I liked the German brothers. It was excellent to represent the Germans, since Joey changes hands between the British and French throughout the course of the film, and their final scene by the windmill is, hands down, one of the best scenes of the year along with the entire barbed wire sequence.

    Also, the granddaughter died from her illness. The grandfather was only trying to buy Joey to keep her memory alive, but he realized that it would be wrong to not let Joey remain with his rightful owner. He realizes that it was what she would have wanted herself.
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I liked the German brothers. It was excellent to represent the Germans, since Joey changes hands between the British and French throughout the course of the film, and their final scene by the windmill is, hands down, one of the best scenes of the year along with the entire barbed wire sequence.

    Also, the granddaughter died from her illness. The grandfather was only trying to buy Joey to keep her memory alive, but he realized that it would be wrong to not let Joey remain with his rightful owner. He realizes that it was what she would have wanted herself.
    Ehh, I just felt like it was too short and didn't have quite an impact. They should've expanded on it a little bit, but that's just me. The scene itself is fine, I just felt like if time was better managed the whole film would have been better.

    And aww, that makes me sad, I must have missed that at the end. Well that sucks. It makes more sense, lolll, but it sucks :(
  • RichardRichard Posts: 48,703 mod
    I loled at the marty pic <3
  • aaronaaron Posts: 20,950 mod
    Celebrate mediocrity.
    imageimageimage
  • BaneBane Posts: 9,869 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Haven't seen it but there is no way it's that mediocre.
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Haven't seen it but there is no way it's that mediocre.
    6.5 isn't that mediocre.
  • yonythemoonyyonythemoony Posts: 5,638 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I liked the movie. People calling It cheesy needs to remember where did they kept their heart. It wasn't too emotional and manipulative, It had raw moments like the battle scenes and the german brothers being killed. I liked the bits with Tom Hiddleston, Peter Mullan, David Thewlis and Emily Watson.

    Far from being a great movie (way too long and overscored), it's still good and Spielberg made a wonderful job.
  • BaneBane Posts: 9,869 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Haven't seen it but there is no way it's that mediocre.
    6.5 isn't that mediocre.
    6.5 is every bit mediocre. It's certainly not good, and mediocre is a step below good. If it were good it would be at least a 7 or above.
  • BaneBane Posts: 9,869 ✭✭✭✭✭
    You can argue that a 5/10 is mediocre, middle of the road, but personally if I think a film is good I would not score it below a 7.
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Haven't seen it but there is no way it's that mediocre.
    6.5 isn't that mediocre.
    6.5 is every bit mediocre. It's certainly not good, and mediocre is a step below good. If it were good it would be at least a 7 or above.
    Perhaps on your scale, I think 6.5 is fine. Perhaps another viewing without some friends playing 20 questions and it may go up :p
  • BaneBane Posts: 9,869 ✭✭✭✭✭
    A 6.5 Steven Spielberg film is not "fine." An "okay" Spielberg flick is at least an 8 or 8.5. :p
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    My scale would be like

    10 - Amazing. Please fuck me again
    9 - Must buy on Blu ray NOW
    8 - Veeery nice
    7 - quality worth the ticket
    6 - good, but not the level it could be
    5 - lacking but not awful
    4 - bad, but there's worse
    3 - bad. Just regular bad
    2 - awful
    1 - RAGEEEE DAFUQ IS THIS SHIT?!?
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    A 6.5 Steven Spielberg film is not "fine." An "okay" Spielberg flick is at least an 8 or 8.5. :p
    Ahahaha, like I said a 2nd viewing by myself to dissect it more might be helpful
  • BaneBane Posts: 9,869 ✭✭✭✭✭
    HPF's scale:

    10 - Amazing. Please fuck me again
    9 - Must buy on Blu ray NOW
    8 - Veeery nice
    7 - quality worth the ticket
    6 - good, but not the level it could be
    5 - lacking but not awful
    4 - bad, but there's worse
    3 - bad. Just regular bad
    2 - awful
    1 - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    HPF's scale:

    10 - Amazing. Please fuck me again
    9 - Must buy on Blu ray NOW
    8 - Veeery nice
    7 - quality worth the ticket
    6 - good, but not the level it could be
    5 - lacking but not awful
    4 - bad, but there's worse
    3 - bad. Just regular bad
    2 - awful
    1 - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
    :))
  • aaronaaron Posts: 20,950 mod
    Regardless of the countless complaints we've heard about Part 2 on the forum, I highly doubt anyone here would rank it lower than a 5 or 6.
    imageimageimage
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Regardless of the countless complaints we've heard about Part 2 on the forum, I highly doubt anyone here would rank it lower than a 5 or 6.
    Cough decarus cough

  • BaneBane Posts: 9,869 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Regardless of the countless complaints we've heard about Part 2 on the forum, I highly doubt anyone here would rank it lower than a 5 or 6.
    NumberEight: "Potter doesn't deserve any awards."
  • aaronaaron Posts: 20,950 mod
    Regardless of the countless complaints we've heard about Part 2 on the forum, I highly doubt anyone here would rank it lower than a 5 or 6.
    NumberEight: "Potter doesn't deserve any awards."
    I still don't think he genuinely disliked the film though.
    imageimageimage
  • Lord StaffordLord Stafford Posts: 27,353 ✭✭✭✭✭
    In my opinion, the comedy fillers weren't unnessesary, as they actually had a time and place in the film. Which fitted with the opening nature of the movie itself. That's why i hate the comedy in the last Potter's, because they don't have a time and place.

    Lord Stafford.
    image
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    In my opinion, the comedy fillers weren't unnessesary, as they actually had a time and place in the film. Which fitted with the opening nature of the movie itself. That's why i hate the comedy in the last Potter's, because they don't have a time and place.

    Lord Stafford.
    I didnt feel the time an place. During a very serious scene in the trenches in no mans land, we revert back to his friend standing there and my theater burst out laughing. That I found extremely unnecessary.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited January 2012
    For me, while most people complain about the main character being the horse, I believe that is what makes the movie unique. I didn't care about the characters, and honestly? I didn't want to. War Horse is a family movie and if people faced it like one, I bet everyone would enjoy much more. The problem is that when they hear the words "Spielberg" and "War", everyone expect something of epic scales. War Horse is just a family film, really well executed. :D
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    For me, while most people complain about the main character being the horse, I believe that is what makes the movie unique. I didn't care about the characters, and honestly? I didn't want to. War Horse is a family movie and if people faced it like one, I bet everyone would enjoy much more. The problem is that when they hear the words "Spielberg" and "War", everyone expect something of epic scales. War Horse is just a family film, really well executed. :D
    Yeah, it is a nice family film.
  • Lord StaffordLord Stafford Posts: 27,353 ✭✭✭✭✭
    In my opinion, the comedy fillers weren't unnessesary, as they actually had a time and place in the film. Which fitted with the opening nature of the movie itself. That's why i hate the comedy in the last Potter's, because they don't have a time and place.

    Lord Stafford.
    I didnt feel the time an place. During a very serious scene in the trenches in no mans land, we revert back to his friend standing there and my theater burst out laughing. That I found extremely unnecessary.
    I agree. The theater laughing was 'extremely unnecessary'

    Lord Stafford.
    image
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    In my opinion, the comedy fillers weren't unnessesary, as they actually had a time and place in the film. Which fitted with the opening nature of the movie itself. That's why i hate the comedy in the last Potter's, because they don't have a time and place.

    Lord Stafford.
    I didnt feel the time an place. During a very serious scene in the trenches in no mans land, we revert back to his friend standing there and my theater burst out laughing. I found that scene in the film extremely unnecessary.
    I agree. The theater laughing was 'extremely unnecessary'

    Lord Stafford.
    There we go
  • Lord StaffordLord Stafford Posts: 27,353 ✭✭✭✭✭
    In my opinion, the comedy fillers weren't unnessesary, as they actually had a time and place in the film. Which fitted with the opening nature of the movie itself. That's why i hate the comedy in the last Potter's, because they don't have a time and place.

    Lord Stafford.
    I didnt feel the time an place. During a very serious scene in the trenches in no mans land, we revert back to his friend standing there and my theater burst out laughing. I found that scene in the film extremely unnecessary.
    I agree. The theater laughing was 'extremely unnecessary'

    Lord Stafford.
    There we go
    Care to elaborate? If you all can say is 'Trenches to a person standing there' then of course i'm going to be sarcastic with you, and feel that the people watching it had never heard of a transition.

    Lord Stafford.
    image
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I did explain. We were in the middle of a serious battle, people getting shot down and trying to follow our protagonist and his struggle. It's gritty and very cool, then we cut to his ginger friend and it's obviously humor filler. Definitely not needed. Would have been much better if they went out together as brothers and watched each others back.
  • Lord StaffordLord Stafford Posts: 27,353 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I know the 'ginger' that you're going on about, but i'm not sure what scene?

    Lord Stafford.
    image
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I know the 'ginger' that you're going on about, but i'm not sure what scene?

    Lord Stafford.
    Stafford, if you're being sarcastic stop, I've explained it perfectly.

    We were in the middle of a very serious battle and we cut to the finger kid still in the trench trembling and it was humor filled and definitely not needed.
  • Lord StaffordLord Stafford Posts: 27,353 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I know the 'ginger' that you're going on about, but i'm not sure what scene?

    Lord Stafford.
    Stafford, if you're being sarcastic stop, I've explained it perfectly.

    We were in the middle of a very serious battle and we cut to the finger kid still in the trench trembling and it was humor filled and definitely not needed.
    You didn't explain anything 'perfectly' I am aware of the fact that he is 'ginger' but he is in many more than one scene. If you're talking about what i now think you are, i hardly see trembling in the horrible trenches of WW1 as being 'humor filled'

    In fact, if i was there in those conditions, i would be doing the exact same thing. Spielberg isn't dumb, and nor is he Steve Kloves. Feeling the need to add pathetic pieces of comedy.

    Lord Stafford.
    image
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It was a pathetic piece of comedy to me. It was very serious and we switch to him and it was meant to make us laugh.
  • Lord StaffordLord Stafford Posts: 27,353 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Well, perhaps that is just the case with your screening. Because no one else has complained and no one laughed during my screening, other than when they were meant to. When it was funny. But you claim that the Voldy hug was meant to have us shitting our pants in fear, even though pretty much everyone is aware of how it's been treated. And rightly so.

    Come back to me when you have something else to complain about, sure. But don't do so if the next thing you come up with, is about how that 'ginger' died a terrible death after being gassed along with many other comrades. There is a difference between what seems right in a script to what will actually work on the big screen. Spielberg knew that, Kloves didn't.

    P.S 13,000TH COMMENT!!

    Lord Stafford.
    image
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I was just about to mention that.

    I didn't see the Voldemort Draco hug as comedic. You might have.

    I found that scene in War Horse comedic. You didnt.

    There's this wonderful fucking thing called an opinion. O-p-i-n-i-o-n. got that? Good.
  • Festax0333Festax0333 Posts: 11,753 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • AbhishekAbhishek Posts: 4,233 ✭✭✭✭
    Congrats Staff!! Martin, much as I want to like your review, I haven't seen the movie, and therefore am not in a position to say anything trololo. :)
  • Lord StaffordLord Stafford Posts: 27,353 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I was just about to mention that.

    I didn't see the Voldemort Draco hug as comedic. You might have.

    I found that scene in War Horse comedic. You didnt.

    There's this wonderful fucking thing called an opinion. O-p-i-n-i-o-n. got that? Good.
    Well, one blatantly is. The other isn't. Care to have a read up on the real WW1? Because i'm sure you would have people trembling.

    Lord Stafford.
    image
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    OH LOOKEE HERE

    James telling me my opinion isn't an opinion. Damn. What else is new?
  • Martin1Martin1 Posts: 7,849 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It's not the fact that he's trembling, it's how it was presented. Fucking shit I'm done with you, you have no respect for my opinion. My goddamn opinion. Just because mine doesn't match yours doesn't mean you're right and I'm wrong.
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